A Hero's Deed
by FearlessBlue023
Summary: After an explosion Leo journeys back to the lair to save a lost child.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Reposting this on here. Just some grammar fixes and what not. Probably expand on it if I get time. **

**Author's Note: Hello all and thank you for checking out my little story. This is kind of a character case study I guess and as of right now this will just be a one-short. However, I am thinking of adding a few more chapters into it. I don't know I'll just have to see how I feel I guess. Anyways, here we go. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the shirt on my back and I barely own that. **

**A Hero's Deed:**

**Chapter 1: **

The darkness seems endless. However, I know how to make the darkness disappear. It's so simple; all I have to do is open my eyes, a task so incredibly automatic that it's crazy how difficult it is at the moment. However, my eye lids feel like they are made of lead and it takes all of my strength to force them to open just a crack. Even though my surroundings are dim, I feel as though I am staring into the sun. My vision is blurry and I have to force myself to blink a few times to refocus my sight. Once my mind is clear and focused, the pain hits me full force. Despite my resistance a small groan escapes my dry lips and every breathe I take feels like a hundred fires burning through my side. Out of reflex my hand goes to my left side to try to ease the pain. I feel a warm liquid run across my fingers and I pull my hand up to my face to inspect the strange substance on my fingers. Red. That's all I can see dripping off my fingertips. It takes my hazy mind a few seconds longer than it should for it to register what the liquid on my hand is. Blood. Of course, now my brain is running full speed and questions are running through at a hundred miles an hour. The biggest question though is: What the shell happened?

I push the pain out of my mind as I try to focus on what happened. Memories of my brothers and I patrolling run through my head. Then, the memory of an explosion flashes across my mind. _My Brothers! _Panic rushes through me at that one particular thought. Without thinking I began to try and get up to find my brothers. That however, stops abruptly as the pain I forgot about suddenly explodes through me. The blinding pain causes me to gasp out loud and quickly lean back against the half of a wall I'm propped up against. I grit my teeth and close my eyes to fight off the agonizing pain. My brief attempt at meditating through the pain is cut short by what sounds like whimpering.

"H-H-Hello?" I barely manage to ask, my voice deeper and scratchier than usual due to my throat feeling like I'd swallowed sandpaper. I hear a gasp as the source of the whimpering desperately began trying to quiet its cries. Despite its attempts at quieting down I could still make out a soft whimpering sound. It almost sounds like a child. I could feel the over protectiveness of being a big brother whelm up and the need to protect the child forces me to ignore my current pain. With a strength I didn't know I had left I forced myself to my feet, using what was left of the wall behind me to stand. The pain was excruciating and darkness began to creep into my vision, but I forced myself to push that aside and focus. As I was catching my breath I took in my surroundings and the night came rushing back to me.

_Raph had been trailing some Purple Dragon goons the night before and tracked them to this apartment complex. This particular group of Dragons had been selling illegal drugs on the street for weeks now and we were planning on finally shutting these punks down. We busted the window in and proceeded to kick some Purple Dragon butt. The night was going well, all according to plan, until suddenly one of them pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number. We all froze as the last Dragon went down with an angry hot-head's fist to the face. _

"_Well guess his phone call didn't go through." Raph growled out laughing as he put his sais away and grinned at his handy work. It is then that I heard it, the quiet tick-tick-ticking. It was then that it hit me what it was. _

"_Run! Run!" I yelled shoving my youngest brother towards the door and grabbing my red-banded brother behind me. As I watch my brothers exit the door, I turn to grab the Purple Dragon goons. It was then that the room exploded in an intense heat and everything went black. _

I shake my head clearing the pervious thoughts of the explosion from my head. I didn't think that there was anyone else living in these apartments, but I guess I had been wrong. I could see that the blood was now over flowing through my fingers. With a sigh I remove my knee pads and belt to at least try and stop the bleeding and to keep pressure on the wound. I grit my teeth as I tie the belt in place, the pressure dulls the pain slightly and allows me to push it aside for the moment. I hear the quiet sniffling again and slowly begin making my way towards its location. After a few feet I find what I am looking for. It's a young boy probably four or five years old. He has short dirty blonde hair with piercing blue eyes that are overflowing with tears. He reminds me so much of my younger brothers when they were his age that I feel my stomach twist at the sight of his pain. I quickly take in his appearance, a few scratches here and there, but overall he seems fine physically at least.

"Hey." I ask as softly as I can, trying desperately not to frighten the young boy anymore. The boy looks up and as he takes in my appearance I can see him visibly gasp and try to move away from me. "Shhh, it's okay. I won't hurt you." I spoke again crouching down to make the child more comfortable and I reached out my hand hoping the child would trust me.

"W-w-who… who are you?" The young boy manages to stutter out as his blue eyes pierce into mine. I try to use my eyes to reassure him that I am a friend. It appears to work because he visibly relaxes and takes my hand in his tiny one.

"I am Leonardo and I'm here to get you out of here." I state simply still trying to keep my voice soft and comforting. I watch as he takes this information in. Nodding his head he uses my hand to pull himself to his feet.

"I'm Christopher, but you can call me Chris." He says as he now looks down at me. I smile softly and pull him into my arms. He frowns slightly at the moment probably upset that I am treating him like a baby.

"It's nice to meet you Chris. You can call me Leo and I'm sure you can walk just fine on your own, but we need to leave as soon as possible and I'll be much quicker if I can carry you." I state trying to get the boy to see my side of things. He nods again apparently understanding and giving me permission. I lift the small child into my arms, trying desperately not to cry out at the pain that moment causes. I am successful and when he is securely tucked against my uninjured right side I ask him if he's ready to go. He nods his head against my shoulder. I decide quickly that it's best if I just bring him to the lair. That way I know he will be taken care of and after he is examined April and Casey can help us figure out what to do with him because I highly doubt his parents survived that explosion. I can only hope my brothers made it out and had sense enough to head back home too. So off we go to find the lair.

We have been walking for what feels like weeks now. I take in my surroundings and find that I've only managed to make it about two miles. Meaning we still have a good solid four more miles to go before we reach the lair. I feel the small child in my arms slowly starting to drift to sleep, which concerns me since he could very well have a concussion or some kind of head injury. I remember Donnie telling us as kids that you shouldn't fall asleep right away if you have a concussion, so with that being said I proceed to try to keep the poor child awake. "Hey." I say softly waking the boy up from his dozing. "You need to stay awake for me. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yeah." He responses sleepily as he rubs his eyes, trying to erase the sleep from them. I know it will be next to impossible for him to stay awake if I don't give him something to focus on. So, I attempt to make small talk in hope it'll keep him awake and perhaps even distract me from the growing fire of pain in my side.

"Do you have any siblings?" I ask hoping maybe we will have something in common. Sadly, he shakes his head and I immediately try to think of another topic. However, Chris surprises me by speaking up before I can ask another question.

"No, but I always wanted a brother or a sister. Do you have any siblings?" He asks suddenly turning the tables on me. I smile talking about my brothers is something I enjoy.

"Yes. I have three brothers." I reply the soft smile still playing on my lips as I look down at the boy in my arms.

"Wow!" He exclaims his eyes lighting up at my statement. "That must be a lot of fun!" I chuckle softy and then successfully fight back the cry of pain that threatens to follow.

"Yes, it usually is fun especially with Mikey."

"What is Mikey like?" The child asks quickly, eager to learn about my family and I am more than happy to indulge him.

"Well, Mikey is the baby of our family so of course he's a spoiled rotten brat." I say and as I finish my sentence I hear Chris chuckling. The sound of his laughter makes the smile on my face even wider. "Can I tell you a story about him?" I ask and I feel the boy eagerly shake his head yes against my plastron. "Ok it starts like this…"

_I think we were twelve or thirteen at the time, but one day I was trying to train peacefully in the dojo when Mikey came busting in. He was whining and complaining about how bored he was. "Leo!" He yelled making me break my concentration and turn to look at him. "I am sooooooooo bored." I sighed knowing I had become the victim of Mikey boredism and there was no escaping for me. _

"_What do you want me to do about it Mike?" I asked sharply the irritation obvious in my voice Mikey however, didn't pick up on it or just didn't care that I was annoyed since he just continued on anyways. _

"_Well you see I haven't pranked Don and Raph in a while and I gotta keep 'em on their toes you know, so I was kind of hoping you'd help me out since you're the strategist and all." He asked me the hopefulness written all over his young face. As much as I wanted to say no and go back to my peaceful training I could never resist the puppy eyes my youngest brother was giving me. So with a heavy sigh I gave him my answer. _

"_Fine. I will help you, but you have to promise you won't prank me for three months. Got it?" I told him trying to at least get something out of this. His face exploded with happiness and that look alone probably would have been enough to make me agree, but I wouldn't tell him that. _

"_Deal!" He exclaimed reaching his hand out for me to shake. I shook on our deal and quietly started to tell him my idea. We collaborated for a few minutes before we finally agree on a good plan. _

_First up on our hit list was Donnie. It was so predictable to find him, of course he would be in his lab tinkering. I took in my surrounds as Mike and I sneak up on him. The gadget he was tinkering with wouldn't be damaged by a little water, so now was the perfect moment to strike. I gave Mikey the signal and we both let loose our water balloons. _

"_Ahhhh!" We heard Donnie yell and instantly Mikey began laughing. _

"_Haha, you should of seen your face dude! Haha, it was priceless!" Mikey laughed out and I could see Don's face turning red with anger. I had to admit it was pretty funny, especially when it's not you who's soaking wet. _

"_Mikey." Donnie growled out through clenched teeth." And Leo?" He asked in shock as he finally saw me. The anger all gone as confusion over took his face. "I expect this from Mike, but you Leo?" He asked again obviously trying to figure out my motives. I simply shrugged as I gave him a playful grin. He laughed as he spoke again. "Okay, if that's how you guys want to play. I'm sooo going to get you both back." He mocked as he turned back to what he was working on and Mike and I left the room. _

"_Dude! That was so awesome!" Mikey exclaimed as soon as the door behind us closed. "Man, we so should team up more, bro. We make a pretty awesome team." The smile lighting his face made my day and I couldn't help, but smile just as brightly back at him. _

"_Yeah, I agree. Now let's find Raph." I replied with a wicked gleam in my eye, which Mikey picked up on and squealed with delight at the chaos that was sure to follow. _

_Raph was just as predictable to find. He was as usual in the living room punching the living day lights out of his poor worn down punching bag. I held my hand up to signal Mikey to halt. He stopped and gave me a questioning look. "I want to go over our plan one more time." I explained Mike let out a sigh of frustration. _

"_Dude, we've been over it like a thousand times." He whined before continuing. "I'm going to sneak attack Raphie with a water balloon and in rage he will come after me. When that happens I run towards the kitchen where the bucket of water is set on the door frame, Raphie will trip the wire causing the bucket to dump on his head, and then you hit him with some more balloons." Mikey repeated back to me and I felt proud of him to be able to focus on a task, too bad he couldn't have that kind of focus in practice. _

"_Excellent, Mike. I think we are ready to commence operation angry bull." I replied back the pride seeping through my voice and I could tell that Michelangelo picked up on it by the way his eyes were shining with accomplishment. I gave the signal and my orange banded brother made his way over towards our target as I went to get into position. I heard the smack of a balloon busting and the angry growl that followed. _

"_Haha." Mikey laughed as he teased our Sai wielding brother. "Oh man Raphie; you should see your face!" He yelled as he came running into the kitchen carefully avoiding the wire. Raph on the other hand tripped the wire and was met with a bucket of water over his head. He paused in shock and that gave me my opening, I let loose pelting him with the few water balloons I had next to me. For a few minutes confusion sidelined his anger as he just stared at us. Mikey of course was laughing his shell off already and I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my face. _

"_You!?" He roared pointing at me, his anger quickly returning. "What the shell, Leo?" He asked his voice still not at an inside level. The only reason he hadn't tried to pound me yet was the need for an answer. I was feeling smug though and refused to give him one, I simply shrugged my shoulders at him. This of course infuriated him even more. "Oh you guys are so dead!" Raph exclaimed as he run at both Mikey and me. _

As I finish my little story I can feel and hear the young boy in my arms laughing loudly at my brothers and me. Despite the pain his laughing cause to my wounded side, I can't help but smile at him.

"Wow! Mikey sounds crazy. I wish I had a brother like that, to play joke with and stuff." Chris declares as he looks up at me his eyes shining even in the dimness of the sewer. It reminds me a lot of Mike and I can't help the sinking feeling in my stomach at the thought of him. I still am unsure of where my brothers are and if they are even alright. I shake my head, forcing those thoughts out of it. All that matters right now is making sure this child gets to a safe place.

"What are your other brothers like?" The little boy asks me softly quickly pulling my thoughts to the here and now, which I am thankful for, because as much as it helps the child stay awake to hear about my brothers. It also helps me focus on something other than my worry and pain.

"Well my next youngest brother is Donatello or Donnie for short. He is the genius of the family. I can't even begin to tell you how many cool things he has built for us, but I do remember this one time."

_I think we were fifteen at the time and I again was trying to meditate in the dojo, when I heard Donnie try to quietly make his way over to me. Before he could even take two steps I spoke just to catch him off guard. _

"_What can I do for you Donnie?" I asked without opening my eyes. However even without seeing him I knew I had startled him from the grasp he let slip. _

"_Man, Leo how do you do that?" He asked after having his breathing settle back down. "You always about give me a heart attack." I chuckled softly finally opening my eyes to take in my brother before me. He looked tired and just plain defeated, which was not the Donatello I know. _

"_What's wrong Don? You look exhausted." I asked my brotherly concern coming out. _

"_It's just this project I have been working on." He sighed and slumped his shoulders before taking a seat in front of me. _

"_Don no project is wroth killing yourself over." I stated making sure he understood that I would rather have a brother than some stupid machine. _

"_I know, I know Leo, but I can't sleep because I keep thinking about it and it's starting to frustrate me." He told me his voice rising slightly with each word he said. I nodded in understanding I knew what it was like to have something eat away at you every day and night. _

"_Okay, what can I do to help you?" I asked hoping there was something I could do. I hated feeling helpless whenever one of my brothers were hurt or upset. _

"_Well I was hoping you could help me meditate. Maybe it would help me relax so I can solve the problem." He asked shyly looking down as he spoke. I was shocked. None of my brothers had ever shown any interest in meditation, but at the same time I was excited to share something I loved with one of my brothers. _

"_Of course!" I responded probably a little too eagerly, but can you really blame a guy. "Sorry, of course I will help you Donnie." I recovered trying to cover up my outburst. _

"_Great! What do I do?" Don asked his eyes sparkling again with the hope that was absent moments ago. _

"_Get into a lotus position and then just focus on my voice. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out." I don't know how long we sat there with him meditating and me helping to guide his path, but after a while his eye snapped open and he shouted. _

"_I got it!" He grabbed my shoulders as he yelled his eyes radiating with happiness and I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. "By switching out the power core with a new updated power core and replacing the cooling system I should be able to get some power, but then I'll have to also completely reconstruct the hard drive, which I should have enough pieces for and then boom it should be finished and completely functional. Thank you so much Leo!" Donnie finished his little techno rant as he pulled me into a fierce hug. Slightly caught off guard I returned the hug, unsure of why he was thanking me, he had solved the problem on his own. _

"_Yeah no problem Don, but you figured it out by yourself. I didn't help at all." I told him and he pulled out of the hug quickly to look me in the eyes. _

"_I know you won't believe me, but you really did help Leo." He told me right before he stood up to leave. _

"_Whatever you say Do. Now go fix your project." I told him with a gleam in my eye. He smiled widely back before running off to fix whatever he was working on. _

_A couple hours later I was interrupted once again this time by Mikey. "Yo, Leo! Donnie wants us all in the living room pronto. Something about a cool new toy. Hurry up!" The youngest yelled at me through the door. I sighed; I guess meditation was over anyways. _

_I stepped into the living room to see Mike and Raph waiting for Don to unveil his latest creation. Raph was pretending not to care and Mikey was bouncing up and down barely able to contain himself. I smiled; typical. As soon as Raph noticed my presence he of course had to encourage Don to hurry up. "Let's go nerd-atello. I don't have all night ya know?" He growled out at Don, which was just ignored as Don began his speech. _

"_Gentlemen and Raph I present to you the all new and improved hover-skateboard!" He exclaimed as he revealed four sweet looking skateboards each in our respective colors. I was immediately drawn towards the blue board. Mikey and Raph had already picked theirs up and were eagerly awaiting the okay to test them out. _

"_Well I think this calls for a test run. Don't you think so Don?" I asked as I grabbed my blue skateboard. Don nodded his head eagerly in agreement and our two other brothers cheered as we all ran out of the lair to test our new toys._

I finish up my story about Don and quickly take in my surrounds. Looks like we are only about mile from the lair now, which is good because I can feel my body starting to shut down and my vision is getting blurry. I have to press on though for the child's sake.

"Man that's so cool!" Chris exclaims as I finish my second tale. "Donnie sounds awesome; I hope I can meet him some day. Maybe he can teach me how to build stuff."

"I'm sure he would enjoy that." I respond back, however the last word comes out as a hiss as the pain in my left side flares up again. I know I do not hide my reaction well as the boy looks at me with concern in his eyes.

"Hey Leo sir, are you okay?" He asks his wide eyes scared and his voice shaking at the thought that I may be hurt. I nod my head in response.

"Yes, I am fine. I just have a scratch on my side and I must have bumped it." I tell the young boy, for a second he seems unconvinced and I am fearful I will have to try to persuade him more. However, he seems to let it go as he asks me another question.

"Okay, so you have one more brother, right?" I let out a sigh of relieve that he's moved on from my injury and I nod my head in agreement.

"Yes Raphael or Raph for short." I tell him as I try to focus all of my energy into just putting one foot in front of the other. It's difficult I can feel myself slowing down, yet I force myself to keep moving forward.

"What's Raph like than, Mr. Leo?" I smile finding it humorous that this child keeps calling me sir or Mr. I also have to force myself not to laugh at his question. What is Raph like? Man, could I write a freaking novel on Raph and I's relationship. We fight, we fight, we fight, and then we're best friends, then the cycle repeats. It's crazy how we can go from wanting to kill each other one second to if someone tries to touch one of us in a fight, the other is right there to rip the bad guy's head off.

"Well Raph is the second oldest right behind me, so we always been in a competition with each other. Since Raph is kind of a hot-head it tends to end in a lot of fighting. However, in battle there is no one I would rather have by my side then him. It's just like this one time."

_It was about six months ago we were out patrolling the city to make sure the bad guys were staying quiet. It seemed like it would be an easy night, nothing was going on, which was making Raph restless. I could tell he was itching for a fight, must have had a bad week. I let out a sigh knowing I'd have to deal with an angry Raph as I spoke to my brothers. _

"_Alright guys let's head back. It's quiet out here." I ordered them getting two nods of agreement and as I had predicted an angry Raph right in my face. _

"_What the hell, Leo?" He yelled and I forced myself to take a deep breath and remain calm. "We've only been out here for a few hours and ya want ta head back now!? Some fearless leader ya are! I'll just go on my own. I don't need ya!" He ran off as soon as he finished his little rant. I yelled for him to come back and as usual was ignored. I let out a frustrated sigh. Great, now I'm going to have to track the hot-head down. I turned back to my other two brothers, who were trying to look anywhere, but at me._

"_You guys head back home. I'll go get Raph." I told them with a sigh as I headed off in the direction Raph went._

_It doesn't take me long to catch up with the hot-head. I have always been the quickest out of my brothers. Plus, I could hear his growling and punching about a half mile away. I shook my head at his carelessness. How someone hasn't spotted one of us yet still baffles me. Silently, I made my way over to the roof top he was occupying and drop down a few feet behind him. My sudden appearance doesn't faze him at all. I am sure he heard or sensed me coming a mile away. "Go away, Leo." He all, but growls out. The tone in his voice indicating he still hasn't calmed the stormy seas of his anger quite yet. However, I can't afford to leave him alone to sort out his rage. Splinter wanted us all to return home after patrol and if I return without a brother he will have my head. _

"_I'm not leaving without you. Now come on Splinter wanted us home right after patrol." I ordered as I turned to head back to the lair, not giving him a chance to argue with me again. My attempt was unsuccessful however, when I felt a 175 pound mutant turtle crash into me. I ended up face first on the hard concrete of the rooftop. I struggled underneath my heavier brother however; I managed to flip over so we were face to face. I could clearly see the anger written all over his face. "Get off, Raph." I growled out through clenched teeth, trying desperately to keep my boiling temper in check. _

"_No!" Raph yelled slamming a fist into the concrete right next to my skull. "I'm sick of ya and ya's holier-than-thou attitude. Ya just think ya are so damn perfect. Dontcha Fearless? Well, guess what? Ya're not!" Raph ranted and screamed in my face as I attempted to remain calm and allow him to get it all out of his system. Raph continued his ranting, but I hardly heard any more of it. Something wasn't right. My whole body tensed up and Raph noticed immediately as his ranting quickly stopped. _

"_Raph," I whispered to him as I sensed the looming presences around us. "When I say run, we run, okay?" He nodded his head in agreement, the anger and the argument quickly forgotten about in the face of this danger. I sensed rather saw the arrow flying straight towards us. I quickly rolled us both out of the way and was on my feet in seconds, weapons drawn. Raph was beside me with his sais out ready to go. I had a different plan; retreat. "Let's go." I yelled as I block an oncoming attack from a foot ninja's sword. In the heat of the battle and when our lives were on the line Raph doesn't hesitate to follow my orders. We tried to retreat back towards a manhole, however we were cut off and it looked as though we were going to have to fight. Well I guess Raph will get his fight after all. We didn't need words to communicate in battle, one look could tell the other everything he needed to know. So here we were shell to shell surround by foot ninja and the funny thing was they don't stand a chance. We flung ourselves into battle. I found myself falling back on instinct. Block with the left swing up with the right. Kick to the stomach. Turn to block a boa staff coming from behind. All in all it was a pretty easy fight despite the overwhelming numbers. I glanced over towards my hot-head brother, who despite the exhaustion I'm sure he was feeling, was grinning like a fool at our handy work. I couldn't stop the smirk that crept on to my face._

_Suddenly though something felt wrong, very wrong. Before, I could figure out what it was though I felt my red banded brother crash into me again for the second time that night. Confused I looked up at Raph from my spot with my shell on the rooftop. I noticed that he was working hard on controlling his breathing, which you usually meant he was hurt. Oh shell! What had happened? I frantically searched around me and that was when I finally noticed the lone archer a few rooftops away. I tossed three throwing stars in his direction and he took off running. Rolling Raph off of me I flipped him over to see how badly he was injured. Looks like he just took an arrow to the shoulder, nothing life threatening. He opened his eyes to look up at me. _

"_Ya ok Fearless?" He grunted out his voice laced with pain though he tried damn hard to hide it. I couldn't help but laugh at his question. Of course, when he's lying there bleeding he's concerned whether I am okay. _

"_I think I should be the one asking you that." I responded as I helped him sit up. "What the hell were you thinking Raph?" I asked softly the fear seeping in to my words. He just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. _

"_Ya woulda done the same thang." He responded and I can only nod my head in agreement with him. _

"_Yeah, we need to get out of here. Can you walk?" I asked as I stood up. He nodded his head yes and I offered him my hand, which he accepted and used to pull himself to his feet. "Okay I'm going to cut the end of the arrow off so it's not sticking out as far, but we had better leaving it in there until we get home so Don can remove it." I told him and again he nodded in agreement. After a quick slice from my blade the arrow was now a much more manageable length. "Alright let's go." I ordered him as I helped him walk across the alley and to the closest manhole. "And Raph." I said and he turned to look at me. "Thanks." He smirked before responding back. _

"_No problem, Fearless." _

"Raph sounds cool, Mr. Leo. If I ever have any siblings I'm going to protect them just like you and Raph do." The young boy responses as I finish talking about my final brother. At this point we are only a couple hundred feet away and I can see the secret entrance in front of us. That's a good thing since I can't seem to focus my eyes anymore and the need to lie down is overwhelming me. Even talking is becoming extremely difficult as I barely breathe out my reply.

"I'm sure you would be an excellent big brother." I can feel my side explode and suddenly it's hard to breath. The boy notices since I no longer have the energy to hide how badly injured I am.

"Mr. Leo?" He asks the concern evident in his wide eyes. "You are hurt, aren't you?" He studies my face after asking a question I am sure he already knows the answer to.

"Yes, but we are almost there. It'll be fine." I assure him though I don't think my voice sounds all that reassuring at the moment. We finally reach the door and I lean against the wall beside it in exhaustion as I press in the secret button. The door opens with an audible hiss and relief washes over me. We made it. I take the last few steps that I can as I enter the main room of lair and with my final bit of strength I set the boy down. I hear someone yell at me, but the voice sounds as though it is coming from under water. Maybe I'm the one who's under water, I don't really know.

"Leo it's 'bout time you got home dude. We were just getting ready to go search for you." I can't respond to the noises I know are words and I can't understand what they mean. Standing has become too difficult and I feel myself fall forward. I hit the ground I am sure, however the only pain I can feel is burning through my wounded side. "Leo!" I hear more yelling I think I recognize the word as my name, but maybe not who knows. "Donnie! Get in here!" More yelling and then the patting of feet as more people rush into the room. I feel something touch my shoulder and roll me over onto my shell. Something soft and warm goes under my head and it is comforting it reminds me of childhood.

"Mikey what the hell is all of the noise…Oh fuck Leo!" A different voice yells as another presence rushes towards me. I feel something small shake my shoulder and I feel tiny droplets of water fall on to the skin of my arm.

"Mr. L-L-Leo?" A small, shaky voice asks and I fight to response to it. "Please wake up." It begs as it now sobs on to my arm. The need to confront this voice is overwhelming and I fight just to open my eyes. The scene that greets me when they finally do open makes me smile despite the fact that I know I am dying. My family is there; Mikey cries softly as he begs me not to leave them, Don is working franticly trying to fix me; a lost cause, Raph is encouraging me to fight it to be stronger, and Splitter is holding my head and whisper soft words to me just like he use to when we were children. I smile and with what little strength I have I manage to grab Don's wrist. He looks up at me his eyes questioning me, begging me to tell him that I'll be fine. However, I can't lie. There is nothing he can do and I'm sure that's exactly what he sees in my eyes because he starts to cry.

"T-t-take care of him." I say in a small voice glancing in the direction of the young boy by my side. All the members of my family nod their heads and I can feel the darkness trying to pull me away again. However, there is so much I need to tell them. I need to tell Mikey to keep smiling because his smile is what makes the dark world we live in livable. I want to tell Donnie how proud I am of him and to not lock himself away in his lab because this family needs him not just his stuff. And Raph. There is so much I want to say to him. I need to apologies for everything. All the stupid fights. All arguments. Everything, but most of all I want him to know that he'll make an excellent leader and that even though we haven't said it in a while I love him. I fight with every fiber of my being to say all this, but talking is too hard now so I use my eyes to portray my thoughts.

"Come on Leo, you going to be alright." I hear the gruff voice of my red banded brother. I lock eyes with him and he seems to understand that this is it. That he now has to look out for our other two brothers on his own. I see the silent tears make there way down his cheeks and with my dying breathe I manage to utter one last thing.

"L-l-love you all." I manage to breathe out my last dying words. My eyes closing softly after and the pain fading. Millions of thoughts run through my head, but I can only seem to focus on one.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry guys.

Goodbye.

I love you.

And then the darkness finally over takes me and everything disappears.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Michelangelo

I still can't believe it. How can he be gone just like that? I keep going to sleep hoping this is all just one big nightmare and he'll be right there when I wake up. But it isn't is it? And sooner or later I'm going to have to face that, but for now the shock is still new and the wound is fresh so I think I'll live in denial a little bit longer.

Has it really already been two days? I can't help but wonder as I stare down at my brother's lifeless body. Gods he looks so peaceful. He'd never looked this calm before even if he was sleeping. He was always worrying about us and watching out for us. I know it stressed him out more than he would ever say. The tears start flowing again. Damn I'm surprised I even have any left, figured I would of ran my tear ducts dry by now. I smile at Leo's cold body as I think about how he would tell me not to cry. How he would say he wants to see my bright smile again. You know I don't think my smile will ever be the same without him. Yeah I'll smile, but there will always be a gap in my heart that nothing can ever fill. I'm okay with that I don't think anything ever should.

A knock jars me out of my thoughts and I say over my shoulder. "Come in." The door opens and out of the corner of my eye I see a hint of purple. Oh the good old doctor has come to visit me. He slides into the room quietly and takes a seat beside me. I don't look at him. In fact I don't move at all my gaze still fixed on my dead older brother.

"Mikey." I hear that tone already. It's that big brother tone as I like to call it. The one they use when they are trying to protect me from something. It stupid really I mean what else could possibly hurt me more than this. I sigh and turn my head slightly to look at my purple band brother. "How are you doing?"

What a stupid question. I think angrily, my shield, my protector, my eldest brother is dead, gone, ripped from this world too soon. I don't say that though because what good will anger really do in this situation. It's not Don's fault Leo died. So I just sigh and shrug as I turn to fully face my immediate older brother. "I could ask you the same thing." I say softly and really I could. Don looks like shit. I wonder when the last time he slept was.

"You know Mikey," He starts his voice thick and heavy with unexpressed emotions. "I'm actually not doing too well." He admits truthfully and it shocks me. I know none of my brothers are taking this well, but for one of them to come right out and say it. Well, that's just unheard of, but I guess Donnie has always been the smart one. He understands that we need to talk about this. It's not something we can just ignore.

"I know what you mean." I reply back just as honest. "Gods Don I miss him so much already." I breathe out and I can't stop the stream of tears that flows from my eyes. Don reaches forward as I lean over to cry and pulls my close against his chest in a loving hug.

"I know little brother. I do too so goddamn much it hurts." He replies as tears start falling from his eyes as well. I don't know how long we sat there just crying on each other could have been three hours or just three minutes for all I know, but we were pulled out of our sob fest by a small knock. "Go ahead." Don replied to the newcomer as he quickly brushed the tears from his eyes. I took a deep breath and did the same.

"Miss April says dinner is ready." A small voice said from the doorway.

"Alright Chris we will be there in a few minutes." Don told his voice steady and reassuring no sign of the breakdown he had just moments ago.

"Thanks buddy." I call out to the boy as he leaves my voice still shaky and rough from all of the emotion. That little boy is the one good thing to come out of all of this. He's something special and I know Leo saw it too that's why he asked us to take care of him. Damnit if I don't follow my brother's last order. I turn to Don, who is unsurprisingly already back in control of himself. The only sign of his crying is the slight red tint in his eyes. I'm sure I look way worst considering I can still feel unshed tears in my eyes, but I push those thoughts away as I stand up and offer Don my hand. He takes it and I help pull him out of his chair. "Come on dude, you know I can't turn down food." I joke as we walk out of the room. Yeah joking is hard now, but it's what Leo would want so that's what I'll do. Even in death I feel he guides us.

The dinner table was silent as we sat there eating. Well no one was really eating all that much too sick from sadness to feel hungry. It was weird without Leo. The table felt somehow empty without him and our hot-head brother down here fighting. Speaking of Raph I don't think I have seen him at all today. After I woke him from his post by Leo's bedside he just kind of took off. I hope he's careful, I don't think I can handle losing another brother. I sigh as I glance to his spot at the table. Master Splinter notices this immediately and speaks to me.

"Michelangelo your brother is fine. I feel he just needs sometime time to sort through this." His calm voice carried out through the deadly quiet lair. Although his tone was slightly off I could tell he'd been grieving for his lost son.

"So do we, but we are all still here." I snapped back before I had time to think.

"Michelangelo." The sternness of his tone made me flinch. "We are all handling this the best we can and we are all grieving in our own ways. Do not judge someone for how they grieve my son."

"Yes sensei." I said nodding as I did. The guilt already swelling up inside me for my stupid comment. I take a deep breath to clear my head and get my emotions under control.

Dinner went on without a comment after that and soon enough we were finished. Don went to go help April clean up in the kitchen. They would probably talk some of their grief out over dishes. Casey stood up soon after. "I'm going to go out and check on Raph." The big man says as he leaves the room. If anyone can talk some sense into Raph it would be Casey. I look across from me at the little boy my big brother had saved. He looks really upset though I could see he was trying very hard to hide it.

"Hey Chris, you wanna play some video games with me?" I ask a smile plastered on my face. I know it didn't quite reach my eyes, but the kid seems to appreciate the effort. He nods eagerly a small smile gracing his face as well.

"Well then I shall retreat to my room for some meditation boys." Master Splinter says as he left the table and went to his room probably to grieve away from prying eyes. I turn and look at Chris nodding my head to signal that I was ready. He gets up and we both race over to the couch. I let the little squirt beat me there. You know since I'm such a nice guy and all.

"Way to go!" I praise pretending to be out of breath. "You sure are fast." The kid smiles and just shakes his head.

"I know you let me win Mr. Mikey." He replies his eyes gleaming with amusement. Damn I forgot how smart this kid was.

"Yeah sure I did." I shoot back sarcastically and the boy just rolls his eyes. "And I told you it's just Mikey, buddy." I tell him sick of how formal he is all the time.

"Okay Mikey." He replies back a small smile still present on his young face. "Ready for me to kick your butt out Mario Cart?"

"Oh you are so loosing." I reply as we dive into our game eagerly.

I'm not sure how long we played for it was probably at least a couple of hours before the boy began to tire. A yawn that I know he's trying so hard to force down slips out and that is my queue that it is bedtime. "Come on little man, time for bed." I say as I turn off the gaming console. He nods his head and puts his controller away. Silently we walk up stairs to the extra bed room that is now his room until April and Casey can figure out what we need to do with him. If it was up to me I'd keep him, but as Donnie has pointed out many times, he's not a stray animal he's a child and he needs more than we can provide down here. I just hope everything works out from what the kid has said his only family was mother and we're pretty sure she was lost in that explosion. I just don't want to see the kid growing up in foster home after foster home. We reach his room and he climbs into his bed. I tuck him in and kiss the top of his head as I tell him good night. I turn to leave, but a small voice stops me in my tracks.

"Mikey, is-is it my fault Mr. Leo died?" The boy asks so softly I can barely hear him and I faintly pick up the small tremble in his voice. The question hits me like a sucker punch. How could this poor kid think this was his entire fault? I sigh before speaking trying to collect my thoughts and make sure I find the right words so this poor kid understands.

"No Chris not all." I say soft but sternly using my fingers to tilt his head up so he can see my eyes. I try to convey my sincerity through them. He nods his head slowly, but I still don't think he is fully convinced. "My big brother was always that way kid. He'd always put his own health at risk to help others and to protect his family." I persuade trying to ease this boy's guilt. He's too young to start the self-loathing act leave that for us big boys. "Like I remember this one time when we were kids…"

_We were probably about six or seven and we were out on our first trip away from the lair without Master Splinter. Raph of course wanted to play a game of follow the leader and we did. It was all going great until Raph's turn. He wanted to lead us across some rapidly moving sewer waters, but Leo wasn't for that. "Raph." He started his voice carrying a warning tone. He hadn't devolved his leader voice quite yet. "I don't think this is a good idea. If someone slips they'll drown in that water." He warned, but Raph of course was too good for that. _

_"__Oh what's the matter Leo? Are ya a scaredy cat?" Raph teased and I chuckled lightly along with him not understanding the danger we could be in. "Well I'm not I'm going across!" Raph exclaimed proudly before turning to look at me. "Come on Mikey." I nodded my head and followed him obviously not want to be a scaredy cat. _

_The pipe we were walking across was extremely slick from the water spraying up on it, but whatever it would be no problem for me. I'm invincible. I was quickly proven wrong as my foot slipped and I went plunging into the rushing water below. I let out a girlish scream and I heard someone yell out my name then nothing. The only sound that filled my ears was the rushing water as it pounded against me and pushed me down stream. I was beyond terrified as the water ruthlessly threw me around. I desperately tried to swim back up only to be drug back down by the water. Oh shell, I thought, this is it. I'm going to die here. Just as I was giving up hope I felt to arms wrap around me and pull me up. I don't know how he did it, but we broke to the surface and I could breathe again. _

_Praise the turtle gods for air! I can breathe! The water was still rushing up onto my face and I knew we weren't out of trouble yet. "Don!" I heard my big brother yell from behind me. "Use that stick behind you and you and Raph pull us out." Leo shouted as he tried to avoid swallowing anymore water. Soon I could see the end of the stick is was like the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I reached for it as far as I could and I felt my fingertips brush it. _

_Almost got it….and got it! The stick was firmly in my hand and I felt my other two brothers pull us over to them. Then as everything was going fine and dandy I felt the arms slip off from around me. "Leo!" I shouted. "What are you doing?" The panic was rising up quickly in my throat and I couldn't push it down. _

_"__They can only pull one of us up at a time." He explained, shouting of the roar of the water. "You go first I'll be right behind you." I didn't doubt him not for a second and my other two big brothers pulled me out of the water. As lay on solid ground finally I turn to look back at Leo, but I don't find him. Where did he go!? The water must have taken him back under. _

_"__Leo!" I yelled the worry and panic prominent in my voice. "Leo!" I tried again hoping against all odds he would be okay. After what felt like hours of desperately searching the waters I see him finally bob back to the surface. _

_"__Over there!" Raph shouted and he and Donnie reach the stick out towards him. He grabbed the stick and we all worked to pull him ashore. He collapsed as soon as he reached solid land. He was heaving trying to catch his breath._

_"__It's alright Leo just breath." I heard Don say to him to try and calm him down. _

_"__I-I'm good." Leo replied his voice shaking with every word.__I looked my brother over relief flooding me until I saw red._

_"__Leo you're bleedin." I exclaimed pointing at his thigh where blood was steadily flowing out of a gash on his upper thigh. _

_"__Oh yeah must of cut it on something in the water. It'll be alright though." He replied calmly trying his best to reassure us that he was fine. _

_"__Come on Fearless I'll help ya walk home so we can get ya fixed up." Raph said his worry evident in his voice and the fact that he didn't care he was going to get in trouble. Leo just nodded and we trekked the short half a mile back home. _

"See even back then Leo always was a hero and he'd do whatever it took to bring us all home safe." I explain to the kid after my story. I see that the story has made him tired as he can barely hold his eyes open. He nods his head slowly and small smile gracing his face. "Now go to sleep little man." I whisper softly as I push his dirty blonde hair aside and kiss his forehead. I turn out the lights and quietly exit the room. Hopefully he will understand; he's too young for all that guilt.

My eyes snap open and I bolt upright in bed. His name is on my lips and I breathe it out. "Leo." I say trying to catch my breath as I do. Another damn nightmare. When will these end? It's bad enough that he was taken from us, but for it to haunt me every night. It is unbearable. I regain control over my breathing, but quickly realize I'm not falling back to sleep anytime soon. I let out a sigh of exhaustion and frustration. Well, I might as well go get some water or maybe a late night snack.

I enter the kitchen and instantly realize I'm not alone. A figure is slump over on the table and as I step closer I realize it is Raph. He's using his arms as a pillow and napping with his head on the kitchen table. I soon realize how he got to be in this situation. There are empty beer can spread all across the table. Damnit Raph, what will drinking solve? I shake my head at my older brother and lightly lay my hand on his shoulder. He doesn't wake up. No surprise there, from all the beer cans I would say he drank a solid twenty-five beers. I give him a shake to try and wake him since I don't want anyone else to find him like this. "Raph." I whisper harshly as I give him another shake. All I get for my efforts is some growling and a small shake of his head. "Raph." I say a bit louder and shake him a little bit harder. It must of worked because next thing I know I'm staring into a pair of green eyes.

Confusion is written all over his face as he looks at me and it is obvious he is still shitfaced. "M-Mikey?" He asks, even just speaking my name he has a slur.

"Yeah it's me dude. Now come on let's get you upstairs and in bed bro." I say trying to talk sense into my intoxicated brother, but he just shakes his head.

"No." He whispers out. "I m-m-miss him soooo much Mike." He slurs out as he leans back in his chair. I let out a sigh and sit across from him. This was going to be one hell of a long night.

"I know Raph I miss him too." He shakes his head out me.

"But ya don't get it. Ya still…still gots two older brothers." He says sadly the tears glistening in his eye, but even as drunk as he is he still won't let them fall. "I-I-I lost my only one." The last part comes out as nothing more than a whisper and I feel my heart break even more. I'd never thought about that before. Raph is now the oldest. I'd never thought about how that would make him feel. "A-a-and it's my fuckin fault. I shoulda done more."

"No it's not Raph. You know that. It was an accident. These things just happen bro." I interject quickly trying to end his stupid pity party as soon as possible. I doubt he believes me, but he doesn't bring it up again.

"Hell Mikey when did ya get so grown up?" He asks as he looks at me. Man does he look like shit. I bet the only times he has slept is when he's pasted out drunk. I just shrug my shoulders at his question though because I honestly don't know. I guess losing someone you thought was invincible will do that to you.

I notice Raph start to doze off again, which means it's time for bed. "Come on Raph let's get you to bed." He doesn't protest and it's a testament to how drunk he is that he actually lets me help him all the way upstairs and into his hammock. Gods he is going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. I close his door softly and return back to my own bed.

I let out a huge sigh as I hit my bed. Gods being strong and caring for everyone all the time is so damn hard. How the hell did you do it Leo? As soon as I think of him I already feel the tears run down my face. Damnit, will this ever get easier? I realize sadly it probably never will, but that's okay I learn to cope with it. I'll smile again no matter how bad it hurt because that's what he would have wanted. "And even in death you guide me." I say out loud as close my eyes. "Good night big brother." I whisper out and I swear I hear a voice whisper back.

"Sleep my baby brother."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello I am back. Mikey was really hard to write honestly in the last chapter so I hope I did him some justice. However, now it's on to Donnie who I also feel is going to be difficult to write so here goes nothing.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the turtles. Please don't sue. **

**Donatello: **

It has been a whole year now. 365 days to be exact since our beloved leader and older brother was oh so violently ripped away from us. Has it gotten any easier? I can't say it has. Logically I figured it would you know what they time heals all wounds right? However, I don't believe that is the case, time just helps to numb them. I let out a sigh even though it's early in the day, three in the morning to be precise, I already know this is going to be a long and difficult day for us all and I should at least try and get some sleep before morning. God knows I will need it. 

I wake up five short hours later feeling like hell and honestly it takes every ounce of strength I have to roll myself out of bed. I immediately head for the kitchen because I am completely useless without my morning coffee. Yeah, yeah I know terrible habit. At least that was what Leo would always say. "Don you should really just sleep more, then you won't need that retched stuff." Goddamnit I can still hear his voice perfectly in my head and it hurts.

I shake the bad thoughts from my head. No, today is a day to be strong to remember what Leo stood for not wallow in my own self-pity. I think as I enter the kitchen. Mikey is already up and working on making us breakfast. He's chatting with Christopher about the latest comic he read or something I'm not sure I just know I need coffee. The tunnel vision is bad as I zone in on my target; Mr. Coffee Pot. Mikey and Chris don't bother saying hi to me yet. They know how I am in the mornings.

I pour myself a cup and take a sip. Oh sweet nectar of the gods how I love you and Mikey for making sure there is a fresh pot brewed every morning. That turtle is a godsend. I easily down one cup and head back to the machine for another. I finally feel awake and slightly lighter now that the fog of sleep has lifted. However, it does not ease the heaviness I feel in my stomach and the pain rippling through my chest.

"Good morning Donnie." Mikey says cheerfully and I am slightly envious of his ability to be so awake in the mornings. "Are you feeling out of zombie-Don-mode?" He asks with a soft smile.

"Almost." I reply back catching his eyes. I see the smile on his face, but it's forced very forced. I could always read Mikey's eyes and right now I see the heartbreak in them. I am sure he sees the emotions that are raging inside mine as well. Understanding passes between us and he chuckles going back to cooking whatever that delicious smell is.

"Good morning Don." The little boy beside him greets. He's not as well practiced in hiding his pain as the rest of us so it slips into his voice. Easily detected by Mikey and I. I force a smile because I know we all need to be strong for this kid. It's what Leo wanted.

"Hey good morning Chris." I say adding a bit more cheer into my voice and as perceptive as the damn kid is he could probably tell. However, he doesn't mention it and just goes back to chatting with Mikey. I haven't really bonded with the kid yet even after knowing him for a full year. I just don't know how to talk to him. I'm not Mike I can't just strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone. I'm too socially awkward for that, but the boy doesn't seem to mind he is always polite and cheerful when he speaks with me. I have promised myself though that I will work to know him better to find something to bond over because he's family now and Leo taught me that family always sticks together.

Our father walks into the kitchen at that time and puts his kettle on the stove for his morning tea as he greets us. "Good morning my sons."

"Good morning sensei." We all reply back to him. I can see the fatigue on his face and I know he did not sleep well last night. I can't blame him considering what today is.

"Sensei?" Chris pipes up. "I know practice is cancelled for the day, but I was wondering if you could show me the last part of the kata?" The young boy asks his voice shaky in fear that he has crossed a line or angered father. However, hope glistened in his eyes.

"Why certainly Christopher. How about we do it after breakfast when the kitchen is all cleaned up?" Master Splinter responds happiness over taking his features. He has loved having a new student to teach especially one as eager to learn as Chris. Father started teaching the boy a couple of months ago to help take the boy's mind and probably sensei's too, off of what happened to Leo. Chris has loved it ever since. The kid literally eats, breaths, and sleeps ninjistu and damnit if it doesn't remind me of Leo.

"Hai sensei." He says as he bows to our father his eyes sparkling with happiness and it's almost enough to make me forget what today is, almost. The boy then sits down at the table to speak with father. I don't really follow their conversation as I get lost in thought, but I am soon jolted out of my thinking by a gruff voice.

"Mornin' y'all." Raph greets as he walks into the kitchen and heads for the coffee pot himself. That's one of things we have in common. We both hate mornings and need something to get us going. A chorus of good mornings goes out and Raph sits down beside me and Master Splinter at the table. I study my brother out of the corner of my eye. He looks good given the circumstances, way better than he did a few short months ago. I think he's finally accepting it and trying to move on like the rest of us. I'm proud of him for it. Yeah it may have taken him a little long then the rest of us, but he didn't have the one person who'd understand how to help him there.

"Casey and April are coming over for dinner tonight so we can honor him together." I say softly just to Raph everyone else knew what was going on since we discussed it at dinner last. Raph missed it though because he was out keeping the streets safe. We haven't started patrolling again, but Raph as usual can't stay still so he's been out flying solo. He actually made sure to get Splinter's permission too as shocking as that is.

Raph just grunts and nods his head obviously not ready to talk about it yet this morning. I sigh I know today will be especially rough for him.

"Alright breakfast is served." Mikey announces as he starts serving breakfast and with food in front of us the rest of breakfast goes quietly.

After cleaning up the kitchen I go straight back to my lab. I need some time to think and mental prepare myself for tonight with everyone. Before I know it I am soon lost in tinkering and I have easily forgotten all the thoughts that were plaguing me. However, I am knocked out of my trance by a knock on my door two hours later.

"Yeah come in." I call out still not lifting my head up from my microscope. I hear the soft pitter patter of feet and know it's not one of my brothers entering. "Hey what's up Chris?" I say lifting my head to see the young boy standing in the door way looking very unsure of himself. He walks in softly closing the door behind him.

"Umm I was wondering…" He starts looking down at the ground the whole time obviously embarrassed. "…if you could help me with my math homework? I just don't get and I don't want the other kids thinking I'm stupid because I don't get something they all seem to get." He blurts out his words coming out like a waterfall once the dam broke.

"Yeah, sure no problem. Bring it here and let's look at it together." I state softly and he smiles as he pulls a chair up to my desks and sits by me. We work for about thirty minutes on the word problems that are tripping him up and after that I feel like he has a solid grasp on it.

"Thank you so much Donnie!" He exclaims hugging me as he does. I hug him back and a genuine smile graces my face, one that is not forced.

"Yeah, no problem and hey anytime you need help on anything you come to me alright?"

"Yeah I will for sure! You're the best!" He tells me as he nods his head eagerly and turns to leave.

"Hey wait Chris." I call out not wanting this happiness to leave me quite yet. "Would you be interested in helping me finish building this RC car?" I ask and he eagerly nods his head again and we get to work.

It only takes us an hour to finish the car up and we both stand there looking proudly at our creation. "Will you do the honors and test drive it?" I ask handing the boy the remote control. He nods his head and takes the controller slowly from my hand, probably nervous that it won't work. He has nothing to worry about because soon the car is racing around my lab floor. We high five, well high three for me, our success and I tell him he better take it out to the living room where he has more room.

He agrees and almost runs over Mikey with it as he is trying to make a speedy exit. "Woah there sweet car little man!" Mikey exclaims jumping out of the way of the racing car. "Did you and Donnie build that?"

"Yeah we sure did. Donnie is awesome and smart." The boy announces proudly to Mike his eyes beaming with happiness and I can see that Mikey can't help but feel happy too.

"Oh yeah trust me I know how awesome Donnie is." Mikey replies a glint in his eyes as he looks towards me. "Better go watch where you're drivin so you don't crash."

"Right!" The boy exclaims as he takes off out of the door to follow his car.

"That was a great thing you did there." Mikey says as he leans against the door frame a smug look plastered on his face and happiness radiating from him.

"Yeah well he's a great kid and it made us both happy." I reply back shyly. Mikey's smile goes soft and he walks off to me and places his hand on my shoulder.

"Leo would have been so proud you know?" He says still smiling but a small amount of sadness is seeping through his eye. I smile back as I feel the tears slowly roll down my face.

"Yeah I know." I say softly my voice choked up from his words. I lean forward and pull my baby brother into a hug. I feel his hot tears running down my neck. However, this embrace is vastly different from the one we share a year ago. That one was all raw pain and sorrow, us sobbing for our loss. This is something gentler, something I won't ever forget. This is us happily remembering our brother and missing him. Yeah the pain isn't gone and it never will be, but it isn't as raw now and we can remember our brother happily as he would have wanted.

April and Casey arrive later that evening and I walk over to greet April. We have always had a bond since she is one of the few people who can understand my thoughts. "Hi April." Casey has already left her side and is off talking to Raph.

"Hi Don, it's good to see you guys." She greets back as she pulls me into a motherly hug trying to chase all my sadness away. It doesn't work, but I appreciate the gesture all the same. "How are you guys doing?" She asks softly when she releases me from her hug.

"We're holding up you know?" I start looking around at my family. Raph and Casey are chatting over by the punching bag. Mikey is singing some off tune song as he works in the kitchen. Master Splinter and Chris are reading a story together on the couch. "It still hurts, but it's easier to focus on the good time we had now. What about you guys? Are you doing alright?"

"Yeah pretty much the same we still miss him, but like you said the good memories are coming now. We also should get full custody of Christopher soon, which really means Splinter will have custody since I don't think the boy will leave his side." April said fondly as she looks over at the pair on the couch. "We'll still take him to school for you guys and everything and give him as close to a normal life as we can, but I know he loves this place and you guys so we'll never take that from him. He'll have the best of both worlds." April said with a smile and I was grateful. The boy is lucky to have so many people around who love him and I was glad we could provide this for him.

"Dinner's ready!" Mikey yells and effectively ends our conversation there as we both head to the kitchen to grab some food. We all sit down around the table with our plates, but no one goes to eat yet as Master Splinter stands up.

"To our beloved Leonardo, who left us way too soon. He would be happy that we are all here safe and sound and able to share this wonderful meal together." We all raise our glasses and speak our agreement as we take a drink in honor of our fallen brother. "Alright as you would say Michelangelo 'dig in.'" Sensei declares happily and we all begin to eat the delicious meal Mikey made.

"Mr. Raph can you pass me the salt and pepper?" Christopher asks our red banded brother. I watch as Raph visibly flinches at the question.

"Yeah sure." He replies aloofly trying not to let the boy see his discomfort, but the hurt look on the kid's face tells me Raph failed. Raph has been extremely uncomfortable around Christopher from the very beginning. I think the little boy reminds him too much of what happened to Leo, which I can understand, but Raph can't keep hurting the kid like this for something that wasn't his fault. I know Raph doesn't mean to, but it has to stop.

Dinner is over soon after that and Mike and April volunteer to do the dishes and clean up. So the rest of us head to living room to hang out. I grab Raph's arm before he can join the rest of the family on the couch. "Hey can I talk to you somewhere?" I ask my voice just loud enough that Raph could hear me. He grunts and we head into the next closest room, which just so happens to be the dojo.

I can tell by the way Raph stiffens that he is just as uncomfortable being in this room as I am. The only time any of us every step foot in here is for morning practice, which Splinter just started up again a couple of months ago. The room still reminds us way too much of him. It was where he practically lived after all. The guy was in here every morning before practice and long after the rest of us left.

I know it has to be affecting Raph; this was where he and Leo fought and bonded the most. I'm sure being in here still hurts. "We can go somewhere else." I suggest softly my voice cracking slightly with restrained emotion.

"No." Raph responses almost too quickly turning to look at me as he does. His eyes are wild with the emotions he is trying so hard to control. "It's fine." I watch him take a deep breath and release it, trying to force himself to relax. I let out a sigh at my stubborn older brother, who is still unable to show us any sign of weakness.

"Well I wanted to talk about what happened at dinner. You're hurting the boy Raph. You need to let it go."

"Dont'cha think I fuckin' know that Don?" He growls out getting in my face. His anger is raw and it almost scares me because well, Leo's not here to soothe it and I am a poor replacement. "I just…every time I see 'im it…it just reminds me of how I failed. It's so fuckin' hard Don…." He trails off the anger leaving just as quickly as it came, replaced by grief and sorrow.

"Raph I know it is, but look I'm not saying you have to be buddy-buddy with him. I'm just saying work on being normal around him because like it or not the kid is here to stay." He turns his head up to look at me and anger and hurt flash in his green eyes.

"Damnit Don!" He yells at me and I am slightly taken back by his new found anger. "I don't want the kid to go nowhere. He's stayin' here wit us. None of dis' was his fault I know that. It's all my fault! Dont'cha get it? I should have been there. I should of done more." I sighed finally understanding that my older brother still blamed himself. That he hasn't let that guilt go. I put a hand on his shoulder to help him focus his wild eyes back on me.

"Look Raph I know the guilt and the self-hate is your thing. Hell, it was Leo's thing too, but if the roles were reversed would you want Leo standing here still blaming himself a full year later?" I ask trying to get him to understand that logically he needs to move on. Understanding lights in his eyes and he shakes his head.

"No, I'd wanna tell 'im ta stop bein' fuckin' stupid and move on. It wasn't his fault." Raph says softly as he drops to his knees. I follow him down and kneel in front of him.

"Exactly and Leo would tell you the same damn thing."

"Yeah I know Don….I know." He whispers out his chin dropping to his chest as I know he fights back the tears. "I'll work on it and the kid, I'll get ta know 'im. I mean he's are baby brother now and I need ta protect 'im." I smile softly and lay my hand back on his shoulder in a sign of comfort.

"Good, Leo would be proud." I say softly my voice cracking with emotion as I fight back the tears. I remove my hand shortly after and exit the room because I know Raph needs a few minutes alone to regroup.

I return to the living room and Mikey glances over at me from his spot on the floor in front of the couch. We share a look and I give him a nod that everything is alright and he dives right back into the conversation. I take up my usual seat, the old wooden chair on the left side of the couch and I look around. Master Splinter is in his recliner with Christopher on his lap. April and Casey sit close together on the couch with Mikey sprawled out on the floor in front of them.

I don't know how it starts or even who it starts, but suddenly tales of Leo are being told. We are all sharing too, sharing our favorite moments with the leader in blue. Soon enough Raph comes out of the dojo and joins us. He is even laugh as Mikey tells a story about him and Leo pulling some crazy prank together. I find myself laughing as well and telling a story or two of my own.

As we join together in this moment as a family to sit and remember a lost loved one I swear I can feel a presence watching over us. I'm a turtle of science so I don't like things I can't explain. Yet, this presence fills me with warmth and contentment. A bond stronger than anything science could explain. A bond I can only describe as brotherhood.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Alright here is Raph's part I hope I do him some justice.****Disclaimer: I do not own anything. **

**Raphael:**

Five years. It seems like a hell of a long time, but damn does it go fast. It's been five whole years since this forsaken world decided to take my brother from me. They say time heals all wounds, but that's a goddamn lie. It doesn't heal anything you just eventually learn to deal with it. It's just like spraining an ankle. When it first happens it hurts like hell and yeah you're out for a week or so, but eventually you heal up enough to use it again. However, that ankle is never the same the tendons don't ever heal back quite right and it is always weaker, more susceptible to reinjures. That's how this feels like I've healed up enough that I can function, but something in me didn't heal back quite right and I'm still weak. Sometimes stupid little things like the smell of green tea or sandalwood will reopen that wound and I'll feel the crushing weight of his death all over again.

That happens a lot less frequently now though and I'd say I'm handling things better now. Maybe not great, but sure as hell of a lot better than I was four years ago. He would of hated who I was four years ago. Lost in my sea of self-pity and loathing alcohol became my best friend. I know I made everyone worry that year and I've been trying my damnedest to make it up to them, but I don't think I ever will.

Fuck, Leo I'm trying man. I hope you know that, but I'll never be as good as you were at this. I'm a poor substitution. I wish you were here bro so I had could ask my big brother for advice, but I'm the oldest now. I just have to suck it up and deal with it for this family, for our family, Leo.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! My alarm clock screams at me telling me it is time for morning practice. Don't know why I bother setting the damn thing I'm always up thinking hours before it goes off. I let out a sigh and roll myself out of my comfy hammock. I feel my joints pop as I stretch them out. It takes a few extra stretches than normal to get my muscles loose. Shit, I think I'm getting old. I let out another sigh before heading down stairs to get some coffee.

The kitchen is bustling as usual this morning. Mikey is whipping up what smells like pancakes for everyone. Don already has his cup of coffee front of him and is sipping it in an attempt to de-zombie himself. Chris is drinking a glass of orange juice as he talks to Mikey about that latest video game. The only one missing is Sensei, who's probably just getting his morning meditation in. I grab a cup of coffee and take my seat at the table by Don. He gives me a nod still not awake enough for talking I nod back not wanting to chat myself.

"Good morning Raphie!" Mikey greets me way too enthusiastically. I growl in response and he just laughs as he continues cooking. Mikey must be about done cooking because Chris slides into his chair beside me.

"Good morning Raphael." He says respectfully. I'm always a little put off by his manners, but it's not like it's his fault since we aren't buddy-buddy.

"Mornin'" I respond back my voice still hoarse from lack of use and sleep. I haven't really gotten to know the kid all that well, but we have at least grown comfortable with each other. I guess that's an improvement. Soon enough breakfast is served and all the talking stops as we all dig in.

Morning practice begins right after breakfast and we are all in the dojo stretching and warming up. The start of practice is easy just going through some simple katas. My body is so use to the motions that I zone out through most of it entering an almost meditative state. I am soon snapped out of my blissful peace though by Master Splinter's voice.

"Yamea!" We all immediately halt at his command and turn to face him, awaiting our next instructions. "Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael you three will have a free for all spar last one standing wins." I feel a grin creep across my face. Free for alls were definitely one of my favorite training exercises. One that I was very, very good at. "Christopher I want you to watch them with me and study their moves."

"Hai Sensei." Chris responded respectfully, however I could see his disappointment. I knew he was dying to fight with the big boys, but he wasn't quite ready for that yet. In a few more years he probably will be hell, he'll probably kick our asses. Splinter and the kid step off to the side to allow us the room to spar and my brothers and I step towards the center. We bow to each other before Splinters command rings out.

"Hajime!" At the command we are all three moving, circling each other and trying to figure our opponents out. I charge Don right away trying to catch the genius off balance. He easily side steps out of the way and swings his boa around in a counter attack. I dodge out of the way easily enough, but there's no rest as I hear a rush of wind behind me. I move just in time to avoid a blow from Mike's chucks.

"So that's how it's going to be, huh?" I ask my voice taunting as I do so. "Y'all gotta team up on me to beat me, huh?" I ask letting out a laugh. It was something Leo taught me; get in your opponents' head. My brothers don't respond to me, which is strange especially Mikey. They just share a look and go on the offensive once again.

Mike charges head on, but I just match him blow for blow. I know he is just trying to distract me. The swoosh of wind lets me know I'm right as duck to avoid a blow from Don. I sweep a foot behind me and manage to catch Don's feet effectively tripping him up. He stumbles backwards, but doesn't fall as I once again focus my attention on defending against Mikey. "Come Mike, is that all you got? Man you are slow." I taunt and I watch Mikey laugh. He was always a hard one to piss off.

"Just playing with you bro." He taunts back. "Waiting for my moment to take you out." He throws a sloppy kick at me and I block it with ease. Only I was too late to realize my mistake. I had dropped my guard slightly to block that kick and it left my right side wide open.

Whack! I felt the pain explode on my right shoulder as Mike's chuck struck uncontested. I let out a growl and channeled the pain into anger. All right no more Mr. Nice Turtle. I felt rather than saw Don trying to land another blow on me from behind. I heard his boa whip through the air. I have to time this just perfectly otherwise it's over. I'll be done for. Just as his boa was about to make contact I brought my sai up. I lined it up perfected and ended up stabbing my sai into the side of his boa, with one quick yank his staff was out of his hands and I had him on the ground. My other sai at his throat.

I quickly sprung up and spun around to face my last opponent, who to my surprise didn't try to take advantage of my back being turned. Instead he just had this astonished look on his face. "Woah dude! That was a killer move." He let out a chuckle. "Too bad you're not going to beat me." I snort and charge him. Now that I don't have to watch my back I can go full offensive, just my style.

I throw move after move at him, but damn Mikey and his athleticism. He just effortlessly jumps away laughing the entire time. It's really starting to piss me off, but if I learned one thing from all my fights with Leo. It's that anger clouds your judgment and gives your opponent an easy win. So I take a deep breath and think. I know I can't catch Mike to hit him so how to win? Then it hits me I got to distract him.

"Yo Mikey I heard they're comin' out wit a new Wolverine movie." I say slyly. His eyes snap to mine and he hesitates just for a split second.

"Rea…" He starts to ask but is cut off by me tackling him. Once I have him in my grasp my weight and superior strength make it easy to pin him.

"Yamea!" I hear Splinter call at out and I release Mikey. I help him to his feet and we bow to each other ending our match. "Very well done Raphael." Master Splinter praises and I feel warmth spread over me at his kind words.

"Ummm…thanks." I stutter out not use to the praise. I feel my face heat up and I bow to him mostly to hide my embarrassment.

"Excellent practice my sons now let's do some stretches and be done for the day." We stretch out our muscles to avoid cramps tomorrow and practice is called to an end. "Do not forget my sons April and Casey are coming over for the annual dinner tonight."

"Hai Sensei." We all say in unison as we turn to leave the dojo.

"Dibs on the shower dudes!" Mikey yells as he sprints by us all. I let out a growl. While Chris and Don just shake their heads smirking at our brother's antics. Don is the next one out. He always leaves practice quickly so he can get back to his precious lab. I am just about to the door when a voice stops me.

"Mr. Raphael?" The kid asks trying to sound strong and confident, but I can hear the doubt and fear in his voice.

"I told ya it's Raph, kid." I respond back trying to force a smile on my face, but I've never really been good at these types of things. It seems to kind of work as I watch the kid relax slightly.

"Okay Raph would you mind staying and helping me practice?" The boy asks his eyes hopeful and I feel like the lowest of the low because I'm going to have to crush this kid's hopes.

"Ummm… I don't really think that's such a good idea, kid." I respond hesitantly trying to look anywhere but at his face. It doesn't really work I see it anyways and I watch as disappointment over takes his features, but only for a brief moment before it is replaced by something else. I think it is understanding.

"Oh okay I understand. Thank you anyways." He responds back as he starts to leave. Damnit he sounds just like him. Mikey would have begged and begged and then given me the puppy eyes till I caved. Donnie would have somehow logically swayed my opinion by pointing out how illogical and stupid my idea was. I would have gotten pissed and blown up in my face until an argument began. This kid though he was so much like Leo. That would have been Leo's response he would have just accepted my answer and moved on, understanding why I made that decision. I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Wait." I call out just before he reaches the door. He turns around to look me in the eyes and I'm not met with the kid's stormy blue eyes, but the piercing blue eyes of my older brother. I shake my head to clear Leo from my thoughts. "I'll help ya." I tell him as I watch his eyes light up with happiness. I am almost overtaken by how good that makes me feel, that I could put that look on his face.

"Thank you Raph." He replies bowing to me as he does. He quickly joins me back in the center of the room. "I was wondering if you could help me with my weapons training. I am having a hard time getting this one kata down." I nod my head and watch him go to the weapons rack to get his weapons. My breath hitches in my throat as it does every time I see those weapons. He of course had to choose the katanas. He said it felt right and that he owed it to my big brother. I respect him for that and I'm glad they have a new owner, but that doesn't make it any easier to see them in different hands. Even though these katanas aren't the exact ones my brother used. The kid's are slightly smaller and lighter so he can learn to control them first.

"Alright show me the kata." I say trying to push all of these unwanted feelings away. The kid begins his kata. A sweep of his right sword, down into a block as his left slashes out to the side, the left comes back in to block as the boy moves to the side letting his right sword cut down an invisible enemy behind him. As I watch him step through it I am taken away to another time and a different brother performing the same kata.

_"__I'm never going to get this!" Leo exclaimed his swords dropping to his side in a sign of defeat. _

_ "__Sure ya will bro. Ya the hardest worker I've known. I'm sure ya will figure it out." I replied back encouragingly hoping my big bro would believe me. _

_ "__Thank you Raphie." He replied his voice so sincere and that soft happy smile playing across his lips._

_A few days later I found my brother in the dojo late at night. I watched from the door way as he run through the kata perfectly time and time again. He didn't miss a single swipe of his blades or block and his motions were fluid and graceful like a fierce tiger ready to strike. After one last run through I finally stepped into the room and he noticed my presence instantly. _

_ "__Raph, what are you doing up so late?" He asked his eye searching me for any signs of distress. Oh ever the big brother. _

_ "__Could ask ya the same thing." I responded back softly in no way trying to start an argument. "I see ya finally got it down, huh?"__He nodded his head that soft smile gracing his face in the candle lit room. "What finally worked for ya?" I asked. _

_ "__I knew someone believed in me." He replied back as he put his precious katanas back on the weapon's rack. "Come on Raph let's go to bed." Leo suggested as we left the dojo side by side. As cheesy as it sounds I felt invincible just know I could inspire my big brother to be so great. I went to my door and he went to his, but we both paused before entering our respective rooms. _

_ "__Good night little brother." Leo whispered out. _

_ "__Night." _

_ "__I love you." _

_ "__Love ya too bro." _

I snap out of my daydream to see Chris staring at me. The boy let out a sigh. "I don't think I'm ever going to get this one Raph." I watch as the familiar signs of defeat over take him. I let a small smile over take my face.

"Look Chris I'll give ya pointers and tips all day, but that ain't going to change nothin' real change hasta' come from ya bro." I say as I kneel down in front of him and look him in the eyes. Green meets blue and his eyes are soon replaced by my brother's, similar yet vastly different at the same time.

"And how do I do that? How do I change it?" He asks his eye look a lot less like Leo's now as I take in the young boy before me.

"I wise turtle once told me that he mastered it because someone believed in him, because he knew someone was countin' on him. I believe in ya Chris just like I believed in him. Ya are destined for greatness just like he was. Ya just have ta believe it and work for it." As finish my little speech I watch the boy quickly try to wipe away the tears that have started to flow from his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He sniffles out obviously ashamed of his tears.

"Don't be. I use ta think I was weak if I cried, if I eva' showed a sign of emotion too, but Leo taught me that it's not weakness its strength and trust ta be able ta share that emotion wit someone." I said softly as I pulled the young boy into my arms. He began to cry harder and I felt a few tears slip past my defense and trail down my cheek as well. We pulled away after some time and sat back look at each other.

"I really wish I could have gotten to know Leo better." The boy whispers so quietly that I almost don't hear him as he wipes the tears from his face.

"I do too kiddo, I do too." I tilt his chin up to look at me before I speak again. "But I know that he's proud of ya and so are we." The kid nods trying his hardest to not let the tears fall again. Stubborn kid, but hell I did say he was like Leo didn't I and Leo was probably the most stubborn bastard I knew.

"Thanks Raph."

"Yeah no problem. Now I'ma go shower. Ya eva' need anything ya come ta me ight." He nods his head in agreement and I place a comforting hand on his shoulder as I get up to leave.

The shower was great, a wonderful way to clear my head. I let out a sigh of relief as I leave that bathroom. I feel pretty good all things considered. That is until I walk past my little brother's door. I catch a fairy strange faint sound, so I listen closer. It almost sounds like crying. I let out a sigh. It always kills me when my brothers are hurting in anyway. I am not the greatest turtle for the job as I don't really deal with emotions well, mine and others. However, I know as the oldest now it's my job to make sure all my little brothers are safe, happy, and healthy. Oh man though Leo give me your strength. I take a deep breath as I knock on the door.

"Mikey, I'ma comin' in ight?"

"Okay…" I hear a soft hoarse voice reply back and I open the door to find Mikey lying on his bed with his face buried in his pillow. I make my way over to his bed and take a seat on the end of it. I take another deep breath as a lay what I hope is a comforting hand on his shell.

"What's wrong Mikey?" I ask softly. Mikey lifts his head from his pillow and I can finally see his red puffy eyes and the silent tears that are still streaming down his face.

"I-I…was watching…TV," He stutters out sniffle in between each word. "when…Space Heroes came…on." Oh shit that was Leo's favorite TV show growing up and we have been avoiding it like the plague. Poor Mikey accidently stumbled across it.

"Oh Mike…" I say as I pull my brother into a sitting position so I can hug him. He starts to cry harder again and I try my best to be comforting. "Shh it's ight Mike." I whisper to him as I rub circles on his shell with my hand. I sit there with him for as long as he needs, just letting him cry it all out. He pulls away after a few moments though to look me in the eyes.

"Raph I still miss him so much." He whispers out, his voice hoarse from cry.

"I know Mike me too. Me too."

"Will it ever get any easier?" I want to lie to him and tell him yes it will definitely be easier, but it's been five years and it's still not any easier. Plus, I have always hated lying to my brothers even if it would help them.

"Ya know what Mike? I don't think so. I mean it's a lot like when ya sprained ya's wrist ya know? That hurt really bad at first then it was just kind of painfully. And finally ya healed, but that wrist never quite healed back right. It'll always still be vulnerable to injury again. Kind of like us we have healed and we can look back at the good times, but something stupid like seein' his favorite show it can bring all dat pain right back and hurt us all over again." He nods his head in agreement and I hope that I at least made some sense to him. I have never been the best with words. I always find it hard to convey what I am thinking or feeling.

"Thank you Raph." He said smiling as he wipes the last few tears from his cheeks. "You've done good bro. Leo would be so proud of you." And just like that he has turned the tables on me and now I am the one about to cry. I take another deep breath as I choke down all of the emotions threatening to escape from me.

"Thanks Mike. Now don'tcha forget that April and Case'll be here in an hour." I remind him and he nods back to me. I lift myself from off the end of his mattress. I give him one last smile before exiting his room. Once outside his door I can final drop the big, strong brother act. My shoulders drop and I feel like a giant boulder has just been place on them. Holy shit Leo, how did you do this all the time? I just shake my head even in death my big brother amazes me.

Diner goes by quickly and soon we are all gathered in the living room chatting about this and that. Casey's talking to me about the new tune up on his bike, when suddenly I realize something is wrong. Donnie is missing. He's not in here talking and laughing with us. He's not in here remembering Leo's life with us. I feel my blood begin to boil. How dare he skip something this important? How dare he skip something we do for Leo? I was going to find him.

"One second Case I'll be right back." I tell Casey cutting him off as I walk away to find my selfish brother.

I find him the first place I look, his lab of course. I don't bother knocking not with how pissed off I am at the moment. "What the hell Don?" I ask basically scream at my younger brother. "We are supposed to be celebrating Leo and you're hiding out in your lab. What gives? His head snaps up to look at me and his eyes are wide.

"I…well I…" He stutters trying to give a good reason quickly, but that is difficult since I surprised him.

"Well spit it out Don." I growl out cutting him off in the process.

"Look Raph I just…I just need some time. I had to collect my thoughts." My anger dies quickly at his statement, well more at his body langue. He looks utterly defeated. I let out a sigh and place a comforting hand on his shoulder. Don looks up at me in confusion.

"Look I know how hard this is trust me. I hate this day just as much as ya, but we've gotta' do it. We hafta do it for Leo bro. This day'll never get easier ya know dat, but we hafta let our family support us through it, Don." Don lets out a snort and I watch a small smile grace his face.

"I know Raph, but thank you." He replies back laying a hand on my shoulder as well. "I know that you had to learn the hard way that you need this family to support you. I'm sorry I was being stupid and thought I didn't need you guys. That since it's been five years I could handle this on my own. I guess I was trying to prove something to myself, but it was stupid and I was wrong."

"Ya's welcome and don't be sorry we all deal wit things our own way, but don'tcha ever forget dat this family needs ya, Don."

"I know Raph, thank you." He pauses to look at me with a smirk on his face. "When did you get so smart?"

"Oh, shut it genius and let's go." I playfully growl out as I follow Donnie out of the lab and back into the living room.

We ended up laughing and talking most of the night until Mikey saw that there was a Space Heroes marathon on TV tonight. We all agreed that it was only right to watch it, no matter how stupid that show is. I have to admit I enjoyed it though, lying amongst my brothers and Chris, who is my brother now, watching Leo's favorite show was comforting. The night was coming to an end though. Master Splinter had already retired to bed for the evening and Case and April had left to go back home.

I looked over at my brothers to see them all pass out asleep. I let a small smile grace my face at the sight and I began to clean up our mess as silently as I could. Once the lair was picked up I grabbed some extra blankets and threw them on my brothers. I made sure all three of them looked comfortable before turning off the TV and heading to my own bed. I wouldn't be able to fall asleep on the floor with, not that I'd be able to fall asleep in my hammock either, but I wanted to think alone for a while.

I reach my room and flop down into the hammock though I know sleep won't come easily I am drained. Think about everything we've been through up to this point. How we've all come such a long way. How we've all had to grow and adapt to overcome this situation and I'm proud of us because we are all still here and we are all still living live. It's just like Leo would want and with that thought I strangely fall asleep quickly.

That night I had dream I was standing in the dojo and in walks Leo. I feel the breath hitch in my throat. He looked good not the way I tend to remember him covered in blood and dying, but how he always was strong, whole, and comforting. I feel myself instantly relax in his comforting presence. His piercing blue eyes stare into mine and that small smile graces his face. I always loved that smile.

"Hello Raph." He speaks out into the quietness of the empty dojo. I feel myself shiver at the sound of his voice I sound I hadn't heard in so long. I take a deep calming breath to keep my emotions in check.

"Hey." I respond back lamely, but Leo doesn't seem to mind his smile just grows wider and he takes a couple step towards me. Enough that he could touch me now or I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to. I don't though in fear he will disappear through my hands. Leo does however as he lays a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. The familiar weight of it is wonderful and I force myself to hold back the tears. Fuck I've missed him. I've missed everything about him.

"You have done a great job little brother." He says his eyes never leaving mine, conveying the sincerity of his words. My throat tightens at his words and I feel an overwhelming sense of pride. The smile is still on his face and I feel like his eyes are trying to tell me a million different things. I hope he can see all I'm trying to say with my eyes.

All those words I didn't say to him. How I love him and I'm sorry for all the stupid fights. How I miss him so much it hurts. How we need him. How I'll never be the leader he was. Something flashes in his eyes and I know he understands. I feel warmth fill me and the guilt I've carried around all these years begin to fade away. "But now you need to sleep little brother." He says softly. "Don't worry I'll watch over you all. Good night I love you." He finishes and I feel the darkness over take me and as much as I don't want to leave him I know I need to. I am exhausted and I need sleep. Sleep comes all too easy and I sleep the best have in a long time knowing Leo is watching over us.


End file.
